Famous quotes know for their humour. Quotes that can make you laugh and think at the same time.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

~ Fred Allen

    If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

    ~ Abraham Lincoln

      Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

      ~ Mark Twain

        I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

        ~ Rodney Dangerfield

          In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

          ~ Mark Twain

            Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?

            ~ Holbrook Jackson

              I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."

              ~ Joan Rivers

                Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung

                ~ Voltaire

                  If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

                  ~ George Globol

                    I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

                    ~ Henry Youngman

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